A Little of the Old In and Out
(image via bradpittfan)
In: Brad Pitt, International Man of Mystery. They say a good woman can change her man profoundly; she can give him direction where once he was aimless. Until now, Brad Pitt has been a sort of Hollywood good ole boy-- a kindhearted, amiable Hollywood dunce with pretty boy good looks despite his sometimes dodgy film choices. As the taller half of the collabo "Brangelina," however (Insert gratuitous moist, hott, monkeysex sounds here), Brad Pitt is another kettle of fish entirely; he's gone Internationalist; he bestrides the planet like a jet-setting colossus.
Today, after a meeting with Kofi Annan, he is expected -- so the buzz goes -- to become, at some point soon, a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador, like his ... Babymomma.
And, If the Sundance buzz is true (We'll find out tonight), Brad Pitt may also not inconceiveably win Best Documentary (He produced God Grew Tired of Us, the buzztastic doc on South Africa's Lost Boys in New York).
When -- pray tell -- did Brad Pitt become such an International Man of Mystery?
Assboy. (image via sunnewsonline)
Out: Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo. Matt Moore of the AP gave us this sharp gem. Obasanjo, the perennial candiate (Of the multinational oil party, in essence, while the general populace struggles on the scraps in poverty), is amending the fragile Nigerian Constitution so that he can run ... again. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) And, of course, the fact that geopolitical scum like he have no sense of tact or grace is a given. According to the AP (via washingtonpost):
"Bill Gates, who co-founded Microsoft and makes more money than any other American __ or anyone else on earth, it seems __ said his Gates Foundation would increase by three fold to $900 million the amount of money for tuberculosis research, including new vaccines, advice and brochures and expanding access to the latest treatments.
"But Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo, who says Africa will benefit muchly from the donation, wasn't shy about asking for more.
"'We like round figures in Africa,' he said, with a sly smile. 'Couldn't you give us a billion?'"
Jesus H. Christ, what balls!
"Gates grinned and laughed along with those at the press conference. But he never did answer."
Nor should he have had to. But he got a nice little lesson in African politics.
(image via datelinehollywood)
In: Picking Sundance. Tonight the winners at Sundance will be chosen. Ever experimental, the gang at Bloggingsundance report, cleverly:
"Can a computer pick films that are likely to win at Sundance better than a human can? Deconstructing Sundance analyzed a variety of factors around Sundance films over the past decade to create a computer program that would pick the films which would do best (and worst) at Sundance. Factors considered included specific words used in film reviews. Golden words include: academic, dialogue, girl, focus, journey and sex. Kiss of death words? Africa, emotional, beautiful, inspired, riveting, sexy and subtitles. Also considered were which critics consistently pick winners - or losers. Also, even though Sundance highly promotes digital, films shot on digital only have a 19% chance of winning. We thought it might be fun to see how the computer program stacks up against a real person who has seen many of the films and heard the buzz on the ground, and see who does better."
Among the picks? Kim Voynar, the computer and The Corsair all pick the Brad Pitt produced "God Grew Tired of Us" for Best Documentary; for Best Dramatic Competition, though, only The Corsair picks Bob Goldwait's Stay (Kim is split between Quinceanera and Stephanie Daley, and the computer picked Come Early Morning). We'll see who wins. More picks here.
(image via washingtonpost)
Out: Senator Arlen Specter. We are loathe to go swooping down on Arlen Specter, giving him the backhand, partially because he has health issues. (A considerable pause) Also, he is in a terrible position; untenable, really. As Senator from the Great State of Pennsylvania, he represents the rigorously anti-abortion Philadelphia suburbs -- a key now to achieving the Presidency -- and he is for a woman's right to chose, and, worse still, he is a Republican.
So -- How did this man ever get elected in Pennsylvania? How does he, moreover, keep getting reelected, being Pro-Choice from said State?
Mostly through tightropwalking, dear reader. But, of late, the Conservative wing of the Repblican Party has been, strategically, muscling him. Really tearing his ass up, so to speak. It worked. After a flood of phone calls to his office last year threatening him that if he uses his ranking Judiciary position to keep a pro-lifer from getting a seat on the Supreme Court .... And ... Spector got the message. He behaved; you saw him turn on Kennedy, didn't ya?
But, of course, men and women of principle cannot ever respect someone that -- for lack of a better word -- who ... "flip-flops." (Makes Manichean hand-gesture) From our favorite Dickensian villain, Robert Novak:
"Sen. Arlen Specter, an unyielding Republican advocate of abortion rights, last Monday addressed more than 100 anti-abortion protesters from his state of Pennsylvania who had just participated in Washington's 33rd annual March for Life.
"To the dismay of pro-life activists, Specter insisted on attending a reception for the marchers at the Capitol Hill Club. Before Specter arrived, he was lavishly praised by Pennsylvania's anti-abortion Republican Sen. Rick Santorum. Specter's performance as Senate Judiciary Committee chairman, said Santorum, 'was wonderful and very, very key to Judge [Samuel] Alito's confirmation' for the Supreme Court.
" Santorum, facing a tough re-election challenge, was criticized by his conservative base when he supported Specter's renomination in 2004. Pro-lifers at the reception did not object to Santorum's remarks, but several left the room when Specter began to speak. Specter declared he would not be there as a U.S. senator were it not for Santorum."
Nice strategem, Ex Lax: The Pro-Lifers hate you; so, now, do the Pro-Choicers. (Averted Gaze) If it weren't for Santorum, you might have had another term, Senator soon-to-be-a-private-citizen. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)
(image via informativos)
In: The Taking of Sex.com. The brilliant Michael Gross appears in the pages of Playboy's February 2006 issue with his gripping story The Taking of Sex.com. It is his first long-form, non-travel magazine piece in nearly five years.
"Sex dot com, which was sold about ten days ago for $14 million, was perhaps the most valuable address on the World Wide Web. Its story is the child of Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, Catch Me If You Can and the Road Runner Wile E. Coyote cartoons. See how the site became a gold mine during the dot-com boom, then watch as the party implodes in a swirl of swinging, speed, spending and, ultimately, rancorous litigation between the two genuises, a geek and a grifter, fighting to control it. The Google Guys they are not!"
We're so there.
